Nachos and Feminism

Happy National Nacho Day!

I didn’t know that I was good at making nachos… but according to Ryan, I made him the “best nachos he’s ever had!”

Yay me!

We both agreed that “Nacho Night” should be a regular occurrence in our house – it was quick, it was easy, it was nearly Gina-proof – and easy to make a dairy free version for me!

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And now, because I have no shenanigans to share about our Sunday night nachos, here is a (probably lengthy) rant about an incident that occurred midday Monday that left me feeling both crotchety and oddly empowered:

If you know me, you know that I like lipstick.  If we’re being honest, I more than “like” lipstick – I fucking love it.  I feel naked without it.  I like bold lipstick, bright lipstick, neutral lipstick, all of it.  I wear as many shades of lipstick in a week as I can because it makes me happy.  ME.  I wear it for me.

At my favorite coffee shop – with my favorite baristas and regulars – I had this encounter with a friend:

Friend (who is a 65+ man): Are you trying to brighten up this Monday with your bright lipstick?  It’s very bright.

Me: Yeah? Lipstick is my favorite.  I just bought this shade yesterday.

Friend:  It’s very bright, it’s a little unflattering.  I like when you wear the dark, moody lipstick.  It’s better, you should wear that more.

This is really a very harmless conversation, and in reality this comment was meant to be helpful and constructive.  What’s fucked up about the experience is how I initially reacted.

Me:  Is it?  I’m trying a new shade and I really didn’t know…

WAIT A MINUTE!!  I started to apologize.  For my lipstick choice.  Like I should be ashamed or embarrassed that I wore watermelon pink lipstick that day because I fucking felt like it.  The magical, saving-grace part of this conversation was that halfway through apologizing and making an excuse for my “unflattering lipstick” – I came to my senses and somewhat politely made my point.

Me: Is it? I’m trying a new shade and I really didn’t know… I like it though.  I mean, I put it on today because I wanted to – I’m at a point now where I stopped caring about things like that.  I just like it.  I like bright lipstick.

Friend: I’ve noticed.

So here’s my thought I’d like to leave everyone with: I don’t put makeup on in the morning for you.  I don’t put it on to look nice or appealing to anyone but me.  I am an artist working in child care – and a mom of 2 – there is little room in my life for creative self-expression other than my clothes and makeup.  I wake up every morning and put on dark, bright, loud, subtle, whatever the fuck I want lipstick for me.  Because I like it.  I wear prints, solids, mixed patterns, bow-ties and thrift store clothes because I like it.  Because I am my own canvas.

I am too old to care about the opinions of others, but sadly still conditioned to feel grateful for someones opinion about my appearance or fashion choices.  And sometimes I need a moment like midday Monday to remind me that I am the only opinion that matters.

Be your own canvas and I’ll be mine – we’ll be “unflattering” together.

Oh yeah, here’s (slightly drunk) me in my “unflattering lipstick”.  I drank one too many White Claws and started taking spiteful selfies.  And vowed to wear ALL the bright lipstick this week!

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