Don’t Google Baby Bison

Happy National Bison Day!

I had very few reservations about today.  I’ve eaten bison before – approximately 15 years ago while on vacation with my family… but I don’t remember it being that far off from beef.  And I recall only moderate feelings of guilt and sadness.  There’s a good chance my brother made mooing sounds at me while I ate it though…

I didn’t really factor in the whole “I have to actually touch the bison meat” part of the day though…

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I gave the kids the choice between burgers or meatloaf and they voted unanimously in favor of “meat cake”.  I’m not really sure why Mag is on board with a food that she describes as “meat cake”.. but was SO appalled by the idea of meat pie?! At least with meat pie you get a delicious crust and vegetables to cancel out the chunks of meat!

I, on the other hand, am really freaked out by meatloaf.  My mom made it when I was little and I remember eating it and enjoying it, but the older I got the weirder it seemed that it was just a loaf of meat.  Like straight up meat cake.  And you just slice a piece of like it’s a loaf of bread?!  The whole concept baffles me! It’s a fucking loaf of meat – no one wants that!   Until a year or so into being with Ryan, I had never even attempted to make meatloaf – but one day I got it in my head that Ryan LOVES meatloaf, therefore I should be a good wife and try to make it.

Having never done it before, I tried using a super fancy recipe from a Real Simple (lies) cookbook that involved layers of bacon and gruyere cheese.  It wasn’t good.  It was greasy (I didn’t drain the fat..), it was weirdly cheesy but lacked all other flavor… and Ryan informed me that he likes meatloaf and all, but not as much as I thought…

Since then, I’ve made it a handful of times – always cringing when I have to stick my hands in a bowl of ground beef and egg.  I’ve learned to drain the fat and SUPER finely chop the bacon – Ryan doesn’t like big pieces of bacon in it because he’s not human – and I’ve *almost* mastered making it without consulting a recipe.

So today, on National Bison Day, I felt pretty confident.

I used basically the same recipe I always use, with the exception of a BBQ sauce glaze on top instead of ketchup.  Ryan was at a work meeting and I REALLY can’t stand ketchup – it worked out in my favor.  I also skipped the bacon – I forgot to buy some over the weekend. I squished the hell out of the meat/seasoning mixture (my trusty pizza seasoning, in case you were curious), added the egg and bread crumbs and re-squished.

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After I put it in the pan, haphazardly covered it in BBQ sauce and put it in the oven, my co-worker shared a photo of a baby bison with me:

Because she is a terrible human being – a cruel, cruel woman who sometimes forgets that I  still believe all animals die of old age and are properly mourned by their caregivers before being eaten.  They also all live on sprawling acres of land and the men and women who live there consider themselves “animal caretakers”….

I couldn’t un-see that, but I also couldn’t undo the bison loaf in the oven.  I was a horrible monster about to consume a majestic creature that may or may not have had wooly, adorable offspring!!!  And I touched it’s meat!!!!  WHY CAN’T WE HAVE NATIONAL CAULIFLOWER DAY!!?!?!?!?!?!?

While I was having a mild breakdown, the trusty meat thermometer went off and it was time to take my murder loaf out of the oven.

It looked… like a sad meat cake filled with remorse and guilt…

It tasted … pretty delicious.  Like a delicious hunk of regret and pizza seasoning.  The kids loved it.

And I learned a valuable lesson – turn the phones on airplane mode while cooking meat so I can’t receive any photos that may scar me for life…

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