Almond Cheese Break-up

Bad news.  Almond cheese and I are on a break.

Last night we celebrated “Beer Lover’s Day” and I had the brilliant idea of making beer cheese soup.

Followed by the realization that said deliciousness will not go well for me.  This led to, what I thought was a brilliant idea at the time, the decision to make a small batch of beer-almond cheese soup for myself. I was pumped.


In preparation for this day I also followed the 2-step process required (in our house anyway) to make beer cheese soup when married to a recovering alcoholic:

  1. Secretly purchase one tall-boy of beer and hide it behind the broth containers in the refrigerator.
  2. Wait until your spouse goes upstairs to pull it out and begin making the soup, then drink the remaining beer quickly before announcing “Happy Beer Lovers Day!  I’m making beer cheese soup!”

Works 75% of the time.


Beer cheese soup is one of Ryan’s favorites – probably because it combines his two favorite things.  He likes his soup to be essentially a cheese sauce with some beer thrown in, so I felt pretty confident about this one.  I can make a pretty bomb cheese sauce.  I can casually stir in a can of beer.  I nailed this one.


I dropped the spoon in the soup a few times though… taking pictures while cooking is harder than I expected.


What I didn’t anticipate was how poorly almond cheese would incorporate into a roux…

I’ve used it to make beautiful lasagna, delicious Welsh Rarebit, it’s been a wonderful relationship.  I’ve just never tried to melt a whole bag of it into a vegan butter-flour-beer combo before.

I stirred the mixture for at least 40 minutes, hoping that if I cooked it long enough it would all turn out okay.  I raised the temperature on the burner.  I took out some of the liquid. Then I added some more liquid.  An hour later I still had a weird lumpy broth situation.



In a last ditch effort I threw some popcorn on top of it with the hopes of sucking up some of the lumps.  (I can’t explain why I thought that popcorn was some sort of sponge.  I was desperate at this point.)  In the end, I ate the damn lumpy thing and tried to convince Ryan that it was totally fine and I definitely preferred it that way.  If I admit defeat then I will also have to admit that giving up dairy has been harder than I anticipated.  I’m too spiteful to let him win right now.

*Not pictured are the really terrible “soft pretzels” I tried to make to go with the soup.  They were neither soft nor pretzel flavored.  Nick ate them because he’s a kind person.  Everyone else (myself included) stared at them with sadness.




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